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| ARE YOU AS TIRED OF STATING THE OBVIOUS AS I AM? [Rachel Watkins] |
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In my last post, about "The Kids are All Right" I felt the need to qualify my last statement.
When I first wrote it, I wrote the simple statement "Kids are better off with a father". I intended to leave it at that BUT....
Over years of blogging and commenting on others sites and blogs, I have found it necessary to explain the obvious and qualify what should not need explaining.
I am so annoyed by others who, when you state something as simple as 'kids need their father' will immediately bring up all those scenarios we KNOW are not healthy. You know, the 'what if's' that do occur but not as commonly as many would think.
"What if the father is a serial killer?" "What if he is a drug lord?" and more.
Obviously, when an intelligent person writes a statement such as I did, I know that an unhealthy father will lead to an unhealthy family. My statement is not meant to include such scenarios.
I am merely stating that in 'most' cases, cutting a father (or mother) off from their children by the mere fact of a divorce or otherwise is not healthy.
Arggh! |
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| I ALSO LIKE A GOOD MOVIE [Rachel Watkins] |
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but won't be going to see "The Kids are All Right" this weekend.
The movie stars Annette Benning, Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo. I am not a fan of either of the women but really do like Mark Ruffalo (from "13 going on 30" and "Just Like Heaven" both favorites here).
Anyways, the new movie, if you have missed the commercials tells the story of a 'gay marriage' between the two women who find themselves in the mid-marriage funk. Their two children seek out their father (sperm donor).
Amazingly - at least from the story line I've found on-line and from commercials - the family is reinvigorated by the inclusion of the FATHER!!!
I am actually stunned by the fact that they went with this storyline (from a best-selling book). Do they even realize what they are saying - a family that is better off when the father is involved. How remarkable! How old-fashioned!
I always find it amusing when movies that want to be so modern, so progressive end up making quite a traditional point (wether they intend to or not). In this case - it seems - the children and even the women find new focus and new energy because the father of the children becomes a part of their lives.
I won't even go into the truth of marriage but just state the obvious - baring criminal behavior, immoral conduct and otherwise being lousy - kids are better off with a dad.
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| I LIKE A GOOD MYSTERY [Rachel Watkins] |
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especially a real one! Check out this real life mystery, around a real painting, real thieves and a real monk (not even albino).
I have little hope that Tom Hanks or Ron Howard is interested in tell this story and would hope that Mr. Brown would keep his little mind and little fingers off of it.
But, think of the movie it would make -
http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/features/2010/07/29/the-friar-and-the-caravaggio-thieves/
"The friar and the Caravaggio thieves
Meet the Maltese priest at the heart a sting operation which saved a precious painting of St Jerome" |
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| ANNE RICE IS NOT CATHOLIC ANYMORE.... [Rachel Watkins] |
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Just reporting the news -
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/Religion/post/2010/07/anne-rice-catholic-/1
From the article:
"Novelist Anne Rice says she's quit being a Christian but hanging on to Christ. She's just fed up with his followers."
Honestly, I am as well. I am fed up with many fellow Catholics, many other Christians and many wanna-be Christians who want to change the rules, make it up as they go along and get a pass for every clear break from Christ.
But, I am also fed up with myself.
I wonder if Christ is fed up with us?
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| SPEAKING OF WEDDINGS [Rachel Watkins] |
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Cheslea Clinton is getting married this weekend (may she and her honey get 26 years+ like Matt and I). “It’s going to be very understated, elegant, but befitting a royal wedding for the U.S.,” wedding planner Claudia Hanlin said on TODAY.
I do not begrudge her a beautiful wedding as every bride deserves what she wants but..... And I am sure the guests (over 500 I have read) are grateful she (or rather Bill) is spending $15K on toilets but....
In truth, my own wedding was minimalist to a fault (where the stupidity I previously mentioned is really embarrassing). But, I cannot imagine spending $600K on tents alone.
I can only hope she and her husband-to-be gain in their marriage what Matt and I have. Money does not matter where it is really important in a marriage and I know that for a fact!
May God watch over them as they venture forth and may they open their hearts, lives (and bedroom) over to His plan and protection. |
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| PERSONAL REFLECTIONS ON A 26 YEAR OLD MARRIAGE [Rachel Watkins] |
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Forgive my personal indulgence but yesterday Matt and I celebrated 26 years of marriage. Wow! In a day when many/most marriages barely seem to last more than a decade, our 26 years seems more than unusual.
But what really makes our marriage stand out is that we had every reason and excuse NOT to stay married. Early in our marriage we could have easily sought an annulment. Not that we may have been granted one mind you, but we had reason enough to seek one had we wanted.
If you go to this link you will see a quick list of the reasons for annulment:
http://www.marriage-relationships.com/marriage_annulment.html
Matt and I could have easily argued for a few of those conditions had we so desired (I'll leave the reasons up to you to guess, but I am sure you will be able to.)
But, we didn't. Why? Honestly, because we were as stubborn about staying married as we were about getting married. We were both young enough and stupid enough to think we 'knew it all' both before and after our marriage.
This stubbornness and stupidity (what do they say about God loving 'stupid animals') was actually a protection for us. We were going to hack it out in order to prove others wrong. While friends and family thought we would be divorced by the end of our first year we were determined not to!
And, in time, we were able - only by God's loving mercy and grace - to grow into the sacrament we were given. The sacrament gave us grace we did not always recognize but was always present. God working, behind the scenes, so to speak on our souls and in our lives. He loves to secretly give what you do not even see, but is exactly what you need.
Matt and I lovingly say that our marriage is the best mistake we made. And every mistake we make (you make) is one that can be remedied and returned to God for His attention.
It was not easy to lay claim to the sacrament God intended us to have, but we were willing to do the work. At first, we worked out on it because we were both to pigheaded to admit we might have made a mistake. But we soon began to work on it out of love - love for God and love for each other.
Here's to long marriages - which every marriage has the potential to be - if you love enough.
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| IT IS TIME FOR MY COUNTY FAIR ..... [Rachel Watkins] |
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We are planning on going to our county fair sometime this week.
The kids are all excited for the rides - merry-go-round, little roller coasters, etc. The shows - this year is featuring "The Flying Dog Show" which I can only imagine. They love seeing the animals, and the booths for free balloons and more.
BUT they are also eager for our favorite 'fried dough' and 'funnel cakes'. We also have a booth or two that does the weird such as 'fried twinkies' but I'm not venturing towards those or any of these:
http://www.travelandleisure.com/articles/strangest-state-fair-food/1
The Strangest State Fair Food List.
If anyone reading this had eaten, or knows anyone who has, any of these absolutely ridiculous food items let me know.
Come on, people, DEEP FRIED BUTTER??!!! |
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| I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS ARTICLE MYSELF... [Rachel Watkins] |
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Please check out Janet Smilth's excellent piece over at the Register,
www.ncregister.com
Green Sex vs. Pink Viagra
I agree completely - on every aspect of this article - every single part including (and especially) this:
"The one couple who had four children and were expecting a fifth, were a little pudgy, a little bargain-shoppish in appearance and a little financially stressed. They listened to their siblings and their spouses with incomprehension; their sex life, interrupted not uncommonly by sick or needy kids, was frequent and satisfying. The fatigue of home schooling and stretching a limited income had not encroached upon their lovemaking."
Enough said! |
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| REVIVING FRIDAY SACRIFICES [Rachel Watkins] |
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Do any of you keep the Friday "Meatless" Fast? I will admit we don't regularly. We are culturally Catholic in that regard but certain situations in my family have made me decide to revive it.
These situations are with extended family members rather than my own children/husband but still cause me sorrow and concern (prayers are welcome).
I was considering what concrete sacrifice I could do for this situation - and in that it is Friday - thought of meatless. It is not as if it is really hard anymore as pizza and grilled cheese are easy enough and always welcomed.
I also know that my four oldest children all do meatless as a part of their religious lives so I can be with them spiritually in this as I was when I wore skirts every day for a year as my daughters do. (I still wear skirts most days but not every day).
I am pondering what to do as daily fast/sacrifice for this family situation and would welcome suggestions as I tend to think of things that really aren't that hard but easily fit into my life.
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| LET THE FRIDAY FUN BEGIN....... :-) [Rachel Watkins] |
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'Corpse flower' bloom could stink up Texas wedding' -
From MSNBC - "The flower girl at Jessica Zabala's wedding is purple, six-feet-tall, uninvited and smells like dead bodies.
She is Lois, a rare "corpse flower," deemed the world's stinkiest bud.
Lois is unexpectedly blooming in the Houston Museum of Natural Science, in the room right next to where Zabala is marrying Jonathan Smith on Saturday.
"I don't need a florist anymore," Zabala laughs. "I've got Lois."
Read the full story here: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38376749
But in short, the flower looks like it is getting ready to burst and if it should, the smell would ruin a very happy day. Neither the museum or the couple could have known or anticipated this so they're all crossing their fingers.
AND this one:
Beer in Dead Animals -
"You'd expect a lot from a bottle of beer costing $765. What you get is 55 percent alcohol — and served in a squirrel."
Think of the dead animal as a beer cozy - surrounding the bottle of this overly expensive beer.
Full story - http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38376048/ns/us_news-weird_news/
Having a husband and brothers who love beer and a brother who is a trained taxidermist, I could help but laugh and consider the options.
We could have Tom (the brother) make the cozies and then Matt (the husband) put any number of beers within. I am thinking that more common beers (such as Coors or Bud) would be best served in a common animal such as the squirrel but for more exotic beers (such as can be found at our local beer place) in more exotic animals such as a - koala???
I KNOW, I KNOW - eeewww and gross and so inappropriate but growing up with six brothers I couldn't help myself. I just started laughing and thinking how I could work this into my stand-up routine.
I won't pursue the business of the beer cozies or as a stand-up comedian but I will give you the site to one of the best places in the country to buy beer and it is only 3 miles from my house. My family is only to happen to visit us when they come and visit it -
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| WHAT TO POST SOMETHING THAT MIGHT MAKE A DIFFERENCE? [Rachel Watkins] |
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Is your family planning up to God, you, or your doctor's God?
This leading question comes from USAToday's Faith and Reason column.
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/Religion/post/2010/07/the-pill-god-sex-family-planning-catholic/1
I love that the word 'catholic' even comes up in the http address!!
The article is brief and is written to create conversation - consider joining in.
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| CHILDREN ARE VULNERABLE NO MATTER WHERE THEY ARE - INCLUDING THEIR HOME! [Rachel Watkins] |
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"Malicious adults use drugs, alcohol to abuse kids
Sleeping pills, cough syrup, laxatives harm 160 children a year, study says...."
160 kids! And this is what is found from the study, but what about those that go unreported and are covered up.
“We believe that the malicious use of pharmaceuticals may be an under-recognized form and or component of child maltreatment,” said Dr. Shan Yin, who led the study conducted at the Rocky Mountain Poison and Drug Center in Denver.
Yin, a medical toxicologist, analyzed more than 21.4 million calls to the National Poison Data System between 2000 and 2008. When he looked at cases of drug and alcohol poisoning coded as “malicious” in children younger than 7, Shin found 1,439 cases of kids who’d been exposed. Some 172 children were seriously injured and 18 died."
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38347257/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/
The sad thing is that I've overheard parents talk about doing this. The 'I know how to get them to sleep through the night' line you hear at picnics and church gatherings. I've heard some people say and always wonder if they are serious or just joking. Now, I know - they are actually serious about slipping a child a bit of cough medicine or something else!!!
Unbelievable!
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| TODAY'S GOSPEL - A SOWER WENT TO SOW SOME SEED [Rachel Watkins] |
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How's this spin -
A mom and her kids went to plant a garden. Some of the seeds- cucumbers, yellow squash, zucchini, cantaloupe - were planted in the house early in the season where they took root and thrived. Some of the seeds were planted directly in the garden - pumpkins, carrots, watermelons. They also put some seedlings from the seed store in as well - tomatoes (two kinds) and peppers (two kinds).
When the mom and the kids went to take the house seeds out to the garden they did not label the rows as they should. They also did not 'thin' the herd so to speak. Weeding was deemed optional as well when the heat wave hit and it was too hot to go out except at night to water.
Weeks went on and the garden burst with vegetation but Mom and the kids were unable to tell which plant was which - except for the bushy carrot tops.
The result of their efforts? Many, many (too many) vines in the garden that look way too much like each other so they were left to grow until fruit appeared. The result of this approach? So much, way too much zucchini and squash, but only a one watermelon that we can see, one cantaloupe and one pumpkin.
The tomatoes are doing really well but all still green, while the jalepeno peppers are great but the green and red ones still not there.
What is the lesson of the parable the apostles might ask? Well, it could come directly from today's gospel.
Some of our seed must have been eaten by the birds as evidenced by the lack of produce (I'm thinking the watermelon especially). Some of our seeds fell into 'rocky soil' as we did see it sprout (the cantaloupe, I think) but did not take deep root. While some was truly choked by the weeds we did not pull.
However, some of our seeds (especially the zucchini) fell on good soil and has yielded a huge amount (thankfully our church's food pantry takes fresh veggie donations).
Lessons learned you can apply? Label your garden and know where you are putting your seeds. Knowing what I putting down would have helped me glean out a few of the zucchini plants (sorry, guys) and given the others more room to grow.
For you, I'd remind you to remember to 'know' what grows and helps your soul's garden such as the sacraments and daily prayer/gospel.
Weed frequently. Weed frequently. Weed frequently. Confession and an evening balance/Act of contrition is the best way to do this for us. For me - I can't do anything about the heat and my inability to be out in it so I'll have to tolerate the weeds but I don't have to tolerate sin.
Don't overdue one thing to the neglect of another. I should have pulled a few of those mystery vines early in the season knowing that our garden does not provide all of our food but rather some of our food. I don't have space in it to grow every squash plant that sprouts - some have to go.
The same is true of our spiritual lives. You can overdo it. A bible study every night, a prayer group every weekend (perhaps two prayer groups??), and more and more. It sounds so good to be so holy but at what cost. If you are out 'being holy', who is putting your kids to bed? Are you with your spouse or with other people's spouses?
Your marriage and your family are your first and most important apostolate or work of God - all else must come second. It might be time to glean your garden down to a one or two activities that really produce wonderful fruit rather than five or six activities that give paltry results because there just isn't enough room!
And finally, my garden, as I said, is a family venture that adds to our table but does not fill it. I do not have the skill or time for that but I am grateful for what we can do based on our limitations and skills. The same must also be true of our lives as Catholics. Not everyone is able to go to Mass every day so making a heartfelt Spiritual Communion while at home with a sick child is more than wonderful.
We cannot all be cloistered or even involved to the same level as others. God doesn't want that - He wants you to 'bloom where you are planted' as they say on those lovely embroidered pillows and t-shirts.
Let your garden grow under His watchful eye and the Master Gardener will assure that your seeds are all zucchinis!!
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| IS HAVING ONLY ONE CHILD THE BEST PLAN FOR THE FUTURE??? [Rachel Watkins] |
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Check out this op-ed piece over at Headline Bistro:
http://www.headlinebistro.com/hb/en/columnists/datiles/071610.html
It takes on this - "this Sunday’s Time magazine cover story has dubbed as the new ideal.
The article, “One and Done,” by Lauren Sandler, promotes the one-child family as the new American family model. According to the article, who needs siblings, anyway? They’re expensive, lead to lower SAT scores and cause poor self-esteem. And the bottom line is – as the article put it – it’s “simply easier with one.”
Shall we all hum along to "Imagine" by John Lennon - imagine no sisters, brothers or guaranteed playmates at home when it is raining, you have been booted out the popular clique or you are just lonely.
Imagine two parents taking care of one but eventually it will be one taking care of two which will happen when the parents are older and, perhaps in poor health.
Imagine that one child tragically falling victim to a childhood illness or accident and the loneliness that will drop like a weight.
Imagine a society that can longer sustain itself (as Europe is quickly learning) because one is not enough for economic sustainability.
Imagine a complete loss of freedom as we decide that your family plans must be approved by the government or you risk loss of property, imprisonment, or death. OH- that's right we don't have to imagine that - we just have to visit China!
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| MAUREEN DOWD IS NOT AS INTELLIGENT AS SHE THINKS SHE IS [Rachel Watkins] |
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And Carl Olson does a good job explaining why:
http://insightscoop.typepad.com/2004/2010/07/whats-the-old-saying-dont-argue-with-a-fool-onlookers-wont-know-the-difference-true-enough-but-i-think-im-on-safe-ground.html
Over at Ignatius Insight, Carl takes on Ms. Dowd's inability to see both the great good Pope Benedict is doing in regard to the scandals and the harm woman's ordination would cause.
The article is lengthy but well worth reading. Here's a bit:
"There is surely much poppycock in the room, but its coming from Dowd, whose ability to misrepresent history, theology, doctrine, present-day situations, and basic facts is, admittedly, perverse and astounding. She mistakenly or misleadingly confuses the ordination of men (a matter of doctrine) with celibacy (a discipline); she takes it for granted that "society" (by which she means herself and her like-minded friends) should set the agenda for the Church; she says that the sexual scandals were the logical consequence of an "all-male hierarchy" (which doesn't help explain why nearly 10% of students are targets of educator sexual misconduct in public schools, which have many more female than male teachers); she brandishes silly and vapid sound bites about "the normality of equality" ("normality" defined by whom, and by what standard? and for what end?); she suggests that American Catholics are increasingly "disenchanted" with Rome, which a perfect example of wishful projection built on legless substantiation."
We know not everyone - such as Dowd - who claims to be Catholic is, and their actions and words often reveal the truth. I am grateful for people such as Mr. Olson who can clear up any confusion in that regard. |
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