Quiz: Is Your Relationship Exceptional?

Only an estimated 7% of first marriages (and 15% of all marriages) are rated as “exceptional” for their potential for satisfaction, longevity, and fulfillment. How close are you and your partner to exceptional status?

Sit down with your mate and take the following quiz.

You’ll be able to examine the nine areas Exceptional couples have mastered, and find your own strengths and weaknesses in the process. Scoring information will be returned with your results. (For a complete treatment of the categories in the quiz, your score, and tips on how to improve it, order my book, The Exceptional Seven Percent: Nine Secrets of the World’s Happiest Couples.)

Instructions.

Please check the level of agreement you have with each of the statements below. Be honest. No one is going to see your results except you. Complete scoring and interpretive information will be presented after you submit the test; a page will return explaining your score.

Section 1 – A Marital Imperative

I know the purpose of my life.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

My daily life and choices obviously and consistently reflect my attempt to fulfill the purpose of my life.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

My mate and I share clearly defined and compelling values, priorities, and ideals.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Everyday, my spouse and I consciously work to help each other live up to our clearly defined values, priorities, and ideals.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I believe that my mate and I are uniquely qualified to help each other fulfill the purposes of our lives.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

The Second Secret – Exceptional Fidelity

My work is regularly in competition with my marriage and family life.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

My social commitments and/or other friendships place many demands on me, sometimes making it difficult for me to find time for my marriage.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Though I may feel guilty about it, I would often rather be at work or out with my friends than with my spouse.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I feel caught in the middle between my parents and my spouse.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Between work, family, and other commitments, I feel pulled in a million different directions most of the time.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
StronglyAgree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

The Third Secret – Exceptional Loving

I believe it is possible for love to
simply die.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I think it is dishonest to do loving things for my mate if I don’t feel lovingly toward them.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I could easily answer the question, “What did you do today to show your mate how much you love them?”

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Love is either there or it isn’t. Good relationships shouldn’t ever feel like work.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly
Disagree

My mate regularly compliments me on how thoughtful and affectionate I am.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

The Fourth Secret – Exceptional
Service

All day long, I look for opportunities to make my mate’s life easier or more pleasant.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Everyday, it is obvious to me that my mate looks for opportunities to make my life easier or more pleasant.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Frequently and cheerfully, I do household jobs that are not specifically “mine” to do.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Frequently and cheerfully, my mate does household jobs that are not specifically “theirs” to do.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Your mate would agree with you if you made the following statement: “I am good at remembering and anticipating my spouse’s needs.”

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

The Fifth Secret – Exceptional Rapport

Sometimes it seems like my mate and I are speaking two different languages.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I often feel like something is missing in my marriage, but I don’t know what.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I often feel that my mate does
not
understand me.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Sometimes I think my mate does not understand what it takes to have a good relationship.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

My mate and I are equally good at expressing our love for one another.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

The Sixth Secret – Exceptional Negotiation

When my mate and I have a disagreement, it feels like we are competing to see whose needs or agenda is “more important” — or who has more power..

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Even when my mate and I strongly disagree, I feel like they make an effort to respect and understand my needs and opinions.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Sometimes, I suspect that my mate just gives in rather than telling me what they think and risk continuing an argument.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I would rather give up my own need than risk continuing an argument.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I frequently feel emotionally “beaten-up” after a disagreement with my mate.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

The Seventh Secret – Exceptional Gratitude

I never doubt that my mate appreciates
me and all I do.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

Everyday, I look for opportunities to compliment or thank my mate.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I am good at noticing and complimenting changes my mate makes in their appearance.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I am good at noticing and complimenting the things my mate does to maintain our home or to improve it.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I couldn’t imagine a partner better suited to me than my mate.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

The Eight Secret – Exceptional Joy

I enjoy spending time with my mate more than anyone else.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

If it came down to a choice, I would rather be doing something I didn’t enjoy with my mate, than something I did enjoy without them.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I am comfortable with the way, and the amount, my mate and I tease each other.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

My mate and I share a lot of laughs and good times.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

My mate knows just what to do to uplift me when I am going through a difficult time.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

The Ninth Secret – Exceptional Sex

Lovemaking regularly gets put-off due to stress or exhaustion.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I feel like my mate makes love to my mind and spirit, not just my body.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I think of lovemaking as both a renewal of our wedding vows and a celebration of all that is good in our marriage.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I consider children to be a great blessing and I think my mate is (would be) an exceptional parent.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

I am comfortable with any and all of the following: making love with the lights on, telling my mate what pleases me and what doesn’t, trying new positions, laughing during sex, and both verbally and physically expressing my pleasure during lovemaking.

Husband Wife
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Undecided
Disagree
Strongly Disagree