| Section 1 - A Marital Imperative |
I know the purpose of my life.
My daily life and choices obviously
and consistently reflect my attempt to fulfill the purpose of my
life.
My mate and I share clearly
defined and compelling values, priorities, and ideals.
Everyday, my spouse and I
consciously work to help each other live up to our clearly defined values, priorities, and
ideals.
I believe that my mate and I
are uniquely qualified to help each other fulfill the purposes of our lives.
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| The Second Secret - Exceptional
Fidelity |
My work is regularly
in competition with my marriage and family life.
My social commitments and/or other
friendships place many demands on me, sometimes making it difficult for me to find time
for my marriage.
Though I may feel guilty about it, I
would often rather be at work or out with my friends than with my spouse.
I feel caught in the middle between my
parents and my spouse.
Between work, family, and other
commitments, I feel pulled in a million different directions most of the time.
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| The Third Secret - Exceptional
Loving |
I believe it is possible for love to
simply die.
I think it is dishonest to do loving
things for my mate if I don't feel lovingly toward them.
I could easily answer the question,
"What did you do today to show your mate how much you love them?"
Love is either there or it isn't. Good
relationships shouldn't ever feel like work.
My mate regularly compliments me on
how thoughtful and affectionate I am.
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| The Fourth Secret - Exceptional
Service |
All day long, I look for opportunities
to make my mate's life easier or more pleasant.
Everyday, it is obvious to me that my
mate looks for opportunities to make my life easier or more pleasant.
Frequently and cheerfully, I do
household jobs that are not specifically "mine" to do.
Frequently and cheerfully, my mate
does household jobs that are not specifically "theirs" to do.
Your mate would agree with you if you
made the following statement: "I am good at remembering and anticipating my spouse's
needs."
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| The Fifth Secret - Exceptional
Rapport |
Sometimes it seems like my mate and I
are speaking two different languages.
I often feel like something is missing
in my marriage, but I don't know what.
I often feel that my mate does
not understand me.
Sometimes I think my mate does
not understand what it takes to have a good relationship.
My mate and I are equally good at
expressing our love for one another.
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| The Sixth Secret - Exceptional
Negotiation |
When my mate and I have a
disagreement, it feels like we are competing to see whose needs or agenda is "more
important" -- or who has more power..
Even when my mate and I strongly
disagree, I feel like they make an effort to respect and understand my needs and opinions.
Sometimes, I suspect that my mate just
gives in rather than telling me what they think and risk continuing an argument.
I would rather give up my own need
than risk continuing an argument.
I frequently feel emotionally
"beaten-up" after a disagreement with my mate.
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| The Seventh Secret - Exceptional
Gratitude |
I never doubt that my mate appreciates
me and all I do.
Everyday, I look for opportunities to
compliment or thank my mate.
I am good at noticing and
complimenting changes my mate makes in their appearance.
I am good at noticing and
complimenting the things my mate does to maintain our home or to improve it.
I couldn't imagine a partner better
suited to me than my mate.
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| The Eight Secret - Exceptional
Joy |
I enjoy spending time with my mate
more than anyone else.
If it came down to a choice, I would
rather be doing something I didn't enjoy with my mate, than something I
did enjoy without them.
I am comfortable with the way, and the
amount, my mate and I tease each other.
My mate and I share a lot of laughs
and good times.
My mate knows just what to do to
uplift me when I am going through a difficult time.
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| The Ninth Secret - Exceptional
Sex |
Lovemaking regularly
gets put-off due to stress or exhaustion.
I feel like my mate makes love to my
mind and spirit, not just my body.
I think of lovemaking as both a
renewal of our wedding vows and a celebration of all that is good in our marriage.
I consider children to be a great
blessing and I think my mate is (would be) an exceptional parent.
I am comfortable with any and all of
the following: making love with the lights on, telling my mate what pleases me and what
doesn't, trying new positions, laughing during sex, and both verbally and physically
expressing my pleasure during lovemaking.
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