Excerpt from:
Parenting with Grace:
Catholic Parent'sŪ Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids
What's So Special About Catholic Parents?
Exactly what is a "Catholic parent"? Are we really any different from other Christian or even non-Christian parents, except perhaps in the prayers we teach our children? Could it be that there is no such thing as a Catholic parent, and this book is merely a cynical niche marketing ploy?
The truth is even more shocking. We believe that even beyond the obvious essentials of prayers and parish life, Catholic parents really are a different breed of animal. This book will introduce you to some of those differences and demonstrate how you can make use of them to help your family become a truly exceptional Catholic family.
A People Set Apart
Scripture tells us that we, as Catholic Christians, are called to be "a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of his own" (1 Pt 2:9 NAB). So, what sets us apart from all other parents, Christians and non-Christians? For starters, we Catholics have several resources available to us that our Protestant and non-Christian brothers and sisters simply choose not to take advantage of. Let's take a look at some now.
A Close Encounter of the Jesus Kind
It is true that God works with all parents who call upon him. After all, our children are really His children: we all "belong to God." But we Catholic parents are empowered to experience Christ "up-close-and-personal" in the Eucharist. More than simply acknowledging Jesus as our "personal Lord and Savior" as our Protestant brothers and sisters do, we receive the Blessed Sacraments and His Flesh becomes our flesh, His Blood courses through our veins. Time and again, Scripture demonstrates the transformative power of an encounter with Christ, and so, we Catholics rely on the innate and independent power of Christ in the sacraments to lead our children on "the pathway of righteousness." No, Jesus doesn't parent for us (we don't get off that easily), but if we let Him, He will parent through us and, when our children receive him, He will become their best friend. With peer pressure like that, faithful, conscientious Catholic parents can't lose.
We Get By with a Little Help from "Mom"
Catholics think of the Church as our Mother, and we are called to parent our children like she parents us. This is one of the things the Holy Father mean when he calls the family the "domestic church" (Familiaris Consorto, "On the Family"). So, what parenting tips can "Mom" offer us? First, through the family meal she prepares for us (Eucharist) we lean that God is a hand-son parent. Any time we call upon Him, He takes time out of the busiest schedule in the universe to be there, Body, Soul, and Divinity. Definitely a strong argument for quantity-time parenting.
The second most obvious lesson can be found in the Sacrament of reconciliation. On the one hand, Mom (the Church) has very high expectations for our behavior; on the other hand, when we fail, she is an extremely gentle disciplinarian. In fact, she never wastes time coming up with creative punishments. Taking her cue from the parable of the prodigal son, her entire discipline strategy consists of strengthening our relationship with the Father so that we will never want to leave home again. Remember, the whole point of those "five Hail Marys" penances is not to punish us (it would be a pretty stupid punishment if it was). Rather, it is an invitation to spend some time seated in the lap of our Mother, before our Heavenly Father, who showers us with a love so profound that we cannot help but be made better by it. Catholic parents are called to do no less for our own children.
We Love Two Holy Books
It is a common lament, "Why don't kids come with an instruction manual?" Well, they do. But they're written in "Catholic." Allow us to explain. Protestants distinguish themselves for their reliance on sola scriptura, "the Bible alone," to tell them how to live their life in general and parent in particular (curiously, though, the doctrine of sola scriptura is found nowhere in Scripture). This can lead some non-Catholic Christians (though certainly not all) to express a kind of self-righteous disregard for what science has to tell us about human nature, saying, "If it's not in the Bible, then it just isn't so." By way of illustration, allow me to quote from a review of fundamentalist author Dr. Ed Bulkey's book Why Christians Can't Trust Psychology. We [Christians] are a Body with deep hurts... But where do we go to heal those hurts? If our sufficiency is not in Christ, and we do not believe God's Word provides answers for today's problems, then what's the point of being a Christian - other than for eternal fire insurance? Any time we say we need the Bible plus psychology (even Christian psychology) to deal with the modern "dysfunctions" that face our families, we are questioning the adequacy and sufficiency of the Scriptures. -Review of Why Christians Can't Trust Psychology in The Book Peddler
Contrast this with what John Paul II's assertion in the "Gospel of Life" (Evangelium Vitae) that "marriage and family counseling agencies by their specific work of guidance and prevention... offer valuable help in rediscovering the meaning of love and life, and in supporting every family in it's mission as the 'sanctuary of life' [italics mine]." Clearly there is a noticeable distinction of which we Catholics need to take note. Of course, Catholics must also ground our lives in Sacred Scripture, but we - the Church that actually compiled the Bible as we know it (you're welcome) - recognize that there is another source of Divine Revelation that is at least as important as scripture - Creation itself - which he church has referred as the "Book of Nature." As the Catholic physician and philosopher Dr. Herbert Ratner was fond of saying:
... There are two revelations: one found in the Book of Scriptures and the other in the Book of Nature; one communicated through the Words of the Son, the other through nature from a lexicon written by the Father. However, the Father, the Author of nature, does not go about teaching one truth while the Son teaches another.
Good science and good theology are completely compatible with one another because both are derived from the same source: God who is the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the Author of all Truth, whether created or revealed, and who does not contradict Himself! Of course, this exact line of reasoning was promoted by Pope John Paul II in his encyclical Fides et Ratio ("Faith and Reason").
In a sense, the Catholic attitude toward the sciences could be summarized by the witness if the Three Wise Men. For thousands of years, man's study of he stars led them to worship the stars. But the Three Wise Men's study of the stars led them to worship the Lord. Perhaps more than any other group of Christians, Catholics are able to access the fullness of Divine Revelation - not because we're such hot stuff - but because we are among the few groups of Christians willing to read both "books."
Likewise, while secular parents may also rely on the Book of Nature for parenting hints, they don't have access to Divine Revelation in Scripture or Sacred Tradition, which tell them how to use the information they gain from science. The result is that while the secular world seeks to bend creation to its will, Catholics seek to use the knowledge we gain from science to learn how to cooperate with creation and use it in the manner God intended. Practically speaking, this is the difference between the Catholic use of Natural Family Planning versus the secular world's preference for chemical abortifacients (i.e. the pill). Or the Catholics "Brother Sun and Sister Moon" versus the secular "Uncle Global Warming and Auntie Dioxin." Or, for that matter, the Catholic assertion that the technology exists to keep a community safe while protecting the dignity of even the worst criminal's life versus the secular world's cries for the blood "justice" of capital punishment.
Learning about God's creation and using it in the manner God intended is one aspect of what Catholics call "natural law." In applying natural law to parenting, Catholics are able to use science and Scripture to raise the kind of children God would have us raise for Him. Remember, our children are not ours to raise as we choose. Scripture teaches us that "both in life and death we belong to God" (see Rom 14:8). As such, we are obliged to follow the instructions He gives us in the Book of His word and the Book of Nature to bring then up according to His will and purpose. While some parents talk about "parental rights," Catholic parents can speak only of their duty to serve justice; that is, the obligation to give God's children all the good gifts He wants them to have - the way He wants His children to gave them. (Moral theologians traditionally define "justice" as the act of giving a person all that is rightfully due him or her.)
Plus much more... such as:
We Know What You Get When You Cross God and Human Beings
"Obey." It's Not Just Another Four-Letter-Word
We Aren't Too Proud to Listen to Our Older Brothers And Sisters
And this is just the Introduction!